Diagnosed at 28

What do you want others to know about lupus?

Lupus comes in many shapes and sizes. One person's symptoms is not exactly the same as any one else. You have to take each day as it comes. You never know how painful it will be to get up each day or if you will have the energy to make it through the day. You worry about disappointing the people you love.

Why is lupus a cruel mystery to you?

I have lost me. I don't know from day to day how I will feel. I can't plan for the future because I don't know if two days from now if I will have the energy to get out of bed. I use to be the person who did everything for everyone and now I feel useless and depressed. I do not have health insurance so I can't even get the help I need. A lot of people have never heard of lupus. Just because I get up and put on makeup and try to dress nice, people assume that I am not dieing inside. It's so hard to "look healthy" while wishing you were in bed sleeping for days at a time. Sometimes I wonder if my family would be better off without me. Then my kids wouldn't have to be so disappointed in a mom who can't do what all the other moms can do.

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